Poem 02: Song Bird
i picked flowers for you today.
a dazzling
bouquet
of petals
still
blushing
from the kisses
left behind from
bumble bees
and
butterflies
i placed them in a glass of water,
ice cubes clumsily dancing around
thick stems,
and watched as they slowly wept
themselves to nothing.
it feels fake,
how blue the sky is today…
a never ending desert
holding hope in its frame,
nestled under a comforter of cosmic dust
dreamily gazing down at my tribute.
the blue birds are singing
and
it makes me mad
the way they are able to
worship so wonderfully
when all i can do
is
barely
whisper
out to
God.
i picked flowers for you today
and my heart broke again.
i am almost as green as the leaves.
Envy’s venom tries to devour me
from the inside out.
how selfish that the birds
are able to sing
and
surrender
stories
of their day to each other
when i can no longer listen to yours.
how mean,
those clouds
meandering
together
in no hurry
simply enjoying each other’s company,
cuddling
and
creating
in me chaos-
you have left me
with nothing
but the memory of you.
how unfair.
how cruel.
this
grief is
gray
and
too
great
to
grasp
i
gasp
and
gulp,
drown
and
dance
dismally
until i collapse unceremoniously
onto a floor as hard as my heart.
this love for you does not know
where to go...
my happiness has halted
and now looks like
despair.
a diseased dagger dancing dangerously,
daring me to drown in despondency
but
i know i am just learning
how to live this life without
you…
it comes in waves,
this painful
process
to peace.
i am training myself to be thankful
to the sky
and
the clouds
and
the birds
for walking through this wasteland with me.
“i am thankful God made me to meet you,”
i try to say in the silence
and i hear His promise
and your laughter
and the birds singing
“this too shall pass.”
this earth feels
fake,
less full,
foolish
with you gone
but even she gives to me
remnants of herself to remember you by
on this absurdly normal day.
lovely
lyrical
non-linear
healing…
i’m so glad
i picked flowers for you today.
